Tuesday
Jan242017

Doors

Leni Zumas


 

The devil is busy.

I saw a "suspicious" looking guy yesterday. As a few neighbors have suggested, I looked him straight in the eye and said hello. However, I did not see any suspicious activity. I have called in such incidents to the police and the only response has been, "If you haven't seen any suspicious activity, there is nothing to report."

I really do not have any proof of anything against them except that they are suspicious and it would be interesting to know if they are seen in other suspicious instances in our neighborhood.

An unsound man tried to uproot my street tree at midnight.

It sucks, of course, but sucks worse because I had two clues something was up.

We had a large black male knock on our door today.

A bizarre humming noise started about 12:30 am and was heard throughout the neighborhood.

Would you be so offended if she said "Large Asian Man" or "Large White Man"?

Saying a large black man knocked on your door is not racist. It's what happened.

As a photographer I see many "unseen" things.

Real pros are drunk well before 8:55 pm.

If anyone happens to see a stray, almost full-size right skeleton leg, let me know. His remaining leg is lonely.

There was a suspicious vehicle on 15th between Failing and Shaver this morning. The gentleman in the car stared intensely at me as I left my home to walk my dog. It was very unnerving.

I noticed he didn't belong in the neighborhood and was carrying a dark Nike duffle over his shoulder.

Maybe we should be leaving other surprises on our porches for these thieves—I may start storing all my old dog doo in an old UPS box, and put it out on the porch taped up when full.

If they have kids, they send them to some other school, so it's not their kid running through the feces.

When my husband pushed them about being possible intruders, they responded, "How many people go to rob a place and take off their clothes?" and "We are not bad people."

I am not a Christian, and with stuff like this, prolly never will be.

I have the sniffles and the dog was naked so we didn't take our usual step onto the porch.

A puppy ate drugs while walking on Alberta Street—which is basically a portal endpoint for illegally attractive people coming from Hollow Earth.

And I don't appreciate someone telling me to "focus." It's rude.

Let's catch the Portland cat stabber.

I used to live at the bottom of a hill—many came, but few went home.

Do you really want a gun in your face in your own living room? I don't.

Never milked a goat, but it might be in my blood!

As Churchill put it, we eventually do the right thing—after first trying everything else.

Those beautiful plants droop with the rain, becoming face-whackers, clothing-snaggers, and generally a tripping hazard.

Friends, nature always bats last.

 

 

All language found on the website Nextdoor.com.